Going out to a club for the first time and getting high, dancing to great music and finding a place that has so many beautiful girls that want to dance and talk with me. Fantastic.
Finding out who the regulars are, which girls are new to it, who sells the best stuff, who sells the junk, and realizing that my dreams can come true! Fun/exciting!
Life is good, even if my GPA went from a 3.3 to a 1.6. I feel more confident and am much more experienced then I was six months ago.
Finding out who the regulars are, which girls are new to it, who sells the best stuff, who sells the junk, and realizing that my dreams can come true! Fun/exciting!
Life is good, even if my GPA went from a 3.3 to a 1.6. I feel more confident and am much more experienced then I was six months ago.
Finally finished school, working at a job and I have my own place to live. I finally have the freedom to do whatever I want to do. It is true that some of the people at the clubs are total jerks, they will rip you off in a heartbeat and some are just creepy roofie predators. All they want to do is find naive girls, drug them, put them in their car, and take them to who knows where to do who knows what. Others sell you junk and others well I just always seem to owe them. Hey, what can you do they're connected to the club, gangs, cartels, mob you know what I mean. What can I do about it? I do not want to end up dead. Besides many people there really like me, even the rip-offs and predators.
The only down side is now that I pay my own bills, it is sometimes hard to have enough cash for the clubs. Some nights I can sell a little and turn a profit to get me through. The most fearful sight I ever saw was the blue lights in my rear view mirror. It is amazing how just that one thing (DUI Driving under the influence) affected my life. I lost my license; it added 1 1/2 to 2 hours to commute to work using mass transit. Now I have to depend on my friends and taxis to get to and from the clubs.
In addition, it is so much harder to get a girl to come home with you when you do not have your own car. It can be a little embarrassing explaining to the cab driver that it is all right, I am just taking her home to sleep it off. All I am really thinking about is that any minute she just might tell the cab driver she does not even know who I am and that she does not live at this address. Or maybe she will say to the cab driver "What am I doing here? Please help me!" I guess I just highlighted what I have become, an abuser of both drugs and women. Now that I look back on it, the club drug lifestyle has lead to a long chain of embarrassing, self centered, stupid and mean acts.
Public urination, hey, it is not as if I have a prostate problem or overactive bladder, I was completely oblivious, not a clue where and what I was doing.
Vomiting on the dance floor, public toilets, alley, out the car window (messy and smelly), learning my lesson and opening the car door to vomit. It is not that I can remember all of my hurling episodes; it is simply that people have told me days and months later about them (what a rep).
Getting into a fight because I sold some bad stuff.
Having relapses of guilt because I might have been the one to sell my friend some ketamine the night he was killed driving home.
Vomiting on the dance floor, public toilets, alley, out the car window (messy and smelly), learning my lesson and opening the car door to vomit. It is not that I can remember all of my hurling episodes; it is simply that people have told me days and months later about them (what a rep).
Getting into a fight because I sold some bad stuff.
Having relapses of guilt because I might have been the one to sell my friend some ketamine the night he was killed driving home.
Having a girl tell me that I gave her an STD (sexually transmitted disease) which sent me off to the doctor quickly. Then getting the results back that I did not have any STDs. However thinking for those few days that I did have an STD made me realize that the club drug lifestyle, next to prostitution, is probably the surest way to catch an STD.
Almost losing my job because I kept over sleeping, coming to work late, and calling in sick due to the lack of sleep the previous night.
Almost losing my job because I kept over sleeping, coming to work late, and calling in sick due to the lack of sleep the previous night.
Almost going to jail for possession with intent to sell.
Then there was the constant problem of collecting money from people that owed and getting money to pay those I owed.
Even with this litany of demeaning and dangerous behavior, all I could think about was getting high and getting women.
Then there was the constant problem of collecting money from people that owed and getting money to pay those I owed.
Even with this litany of demeaning and dangerous behavior, all I could think about was getting high and getting women.
As time went on two things started to happen more frequently. 1) I would get tired and bored with it all and 2) I saw the odds of my life turning very tragic mounting against me. The high was not the same and the women I was with never amounted to anything due to what I had become.
I figured so far I have been very lucky because by now I have not gone to prison, been killed in an accident or murdered by dealers, lost my job or caught STDs. Since it was not the first time I had come to this conclusion I decided to do it the right way. Therefore, I went to a drug rehabilitation center. There they had the people I could relate to who had the answers and the resources to change my lifestyle so I would not fall back into the vicious club drug lifestyle cycle again.
I figured so far I have been very lucky because by now I have not gone to prison, been killed in an accident or murdered by dealers, lost my job or caught STDs. Since it was not the first time I had come to this conclusion I decided to do it the right way. Therefore, I went to a drug rehabilitation center. There they had the people I could relate to who had the answers and the resources to change my lifestyle so I would not fall back into the vicious club drug lifestyle cycle again.
At first, it was the fear of going back to my old ways that keep me on the straight and narrow but once I started feeling comfortable with my new life, I started to become interested in new things and new people. With help and some resources, I could have a very satisfying and happy life. But that is not what made the club drug rehabilitation priceless. That came later on. When I met the love of my life and learned when two people give to each other selflessly the desire for each other grows and grows incredibly strong. I have had children who have been thoughtful of others, made the right decisions, worked very hard, and become successful. While there are other things that fill my life, it is my family that has made me see that the club drug rehab was priceless.
Transitions Recovery at http://www.drug-rehabcenter.com
No comments:
Post a Comment